THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG ARE THE VIEWS OF BILLY HAZE AND MAY DIFFER FROM YOUR VIEWS
I believe that being black in America is still not fully socially accepted. Imagine being black and gay. Or worse, imagine being black and gay AND living in San Francisco.
Let me give you a little background about San Francisco's Castro, the community that is known for being the "gayest neighborhood in the gayest city in the gayest state in the universe" LOL. Well the castro has kind of a reputation for not being black friendly. You can go out in the Castro and see a ton of white people, a good amount of latin men, and a good amount of asian men. Then there will be a handful of black gay men. And these men stand out from the other men in many ways. Some things I have noticed about the black gay men in San Francisco are
1. They tend to wear colored contacts
2. They almost always have a white or non-black boyfriend
3. They almost always are the only black man in the group they're with
4. A lot of them are pretty overweight
5. If they're feminine they are ALWAYS more femme than the average femme
6. A lot of men in San Francisco who are gay do not find black men attractive
I'm pretty sure there are more but that's all I got for now. It's funny, because talking to other people (before I express my views I try to call around/go online) and try to find some people who agree with me, and a lot of men do, especially black men do. I do consider myself pretty well traveled and always make an effort to visit the gay areas of places I go, and San Francisco's Castro definitely has the least black men, and definitely the black men look different. I am not perfect or anything, but I HAVE noticed that in other places the black men are very sexy. In San Francisco alot of black men are fucking overweight and the ones who are ok and have nice body's have these contacts, relaxed hair (but most still have the fade which is typical of most black men everywhere gay or straight) and these super gay boy clothes. It's kind of weird.
I especially cannot stand the colored contacts. These things are worn by SO many SF black men. We know who they are. There is one man in particular who stands out. This man is just so unreal. Super gay clothes. gay relaxed hair. blue contacts that he tries to play off as his real eyes. It's so sad yet funny because this boy has some issues. From what I know about him I can take a good guess he may have dissociative identity disorder
There are plenty of reasons as to why a black gay man may mess with their appearance so much. One could be that it may make them feel as if they are more acceptable. Another could make them feel like they are more attractive to white men. Those are some stupid bullshit reasons. As a gay black man, other younger black men need to feel attractive for the way we look NATURALLY. Black men are unique because while white, Latin, Asian may have similar features to each other, we are completely different. I want another black man to find me attractive, THAT will make me feel good. Black people have been looked at as second class citizens since forever, and it seems like to me that the way black gay men are dealing with that is not by sticking together but by trying to become closer with the people who as a whole don't find us attractive or are considered more beautiful by the rest of society.
I am half black and half white. I feel like I was raised well when it comes to race issues. I find all races attractive, although I will admit I prefer black, white and latin men more just because not only do I feel like I can relate to them on a more cultural basis but also I have experienced a lot of racism from all types of asian people, gay or straight. Thats a different topic though. But growing up I went to mainly white schools in more affluent areas. both my parents had great jobs and worked hard. I had a good mix of friends and never felt left out. I am not 'ghetto' like black people are expected to be yet I don't avoid black people/look down upon black people like most white people do (trust me, racism has become so institutionalized that a lot of white people with black friends dont even realize they're racist. At the same because of the institutionalized racism, so many black people don't even realize when they're being discriminated against) I feel lucky that I can go to the hood' and talk comfortably with 'thugs' and 'ghetto' black people without being considered white washed. I also think it's cool I can hold a conversation with black college grads without being considered ghetto. While I am equally white as I am black, I must say there is a welcomeness the black community gives me that I don't feel from the white community
You may ask what I mean. Well, my physical appearance favors my black side. I do feel more comfortable around black people just because I just feel more loved and cared for and looked after when i'm around black people. For example, when i'm with my black friends family (back in high school and college) they talk to you and treat as one of their own kids when your with them. That is common amongst black families because I feel that black families realize that the black community is missing a lot of strong black men so we in a way look after each other a little more. On the other hand, while around my white friends family, they treat you very well, but they still kind of let you know in little ways your a visitor and that there are certain things you can and can't do. Like I can walk into any of my black friends house when my friends not even there and have mom fix me something to eat and stay and watch t.v. or just hang out with his mom. With one of my white friends however, I would NEVER do that at any of their houses.
I just don't get how someone can not find their own skin color and people unattractive and not want to be with them. How a culture who has been through so much and struggled and experienced racism and are gay can not want a sense of community, but would rather take one of the more 'desirable' groups of men over their own. I really don't get it. Or I really do get it...although I don't understand it or like it.
But I am starting to learn if you want to get anything done you need to take it into your own damn hands. Maybe I will one day have the courage to do that one day. Everyday I am getting a little more and more comfortable being OK with myself (believe me, I got my own issues, and quite a bit of them at that!)
Check out my next blog post: Golden Boys!